To ascertain the calling of God is particularly a difficult one. There are many factors and many occasions for (self-)doubts. I consider myself a “pastoral worker”, and I describe myself as a “preacher” only because I will be the one preaching. I am not conferred with any title or recognition from any church. I am not a pastor, I am not a preacher, in a strict sense, an official teacher of a local church.
My calling is to be a pastor-teacher, and I am more of a churchman (cf. statesman), active in the business of the church than anything else. At the same time I can understand why I am where I am right now.
What Do I Need?
In order for one to confirm his calling, he needs two things: (1) A strong impulse (which can be without a cause too) or heavy burden from God, and (2) an official public recognition by the community you are in (especially the leaders of the community).
Impulse
The impulse, compulsion, urge or force can get stronger or weaker depending on doubts or advice of the moment. A weak impulse does not mean one is not called. I received a boost of impulse years later after I met Dr Joel Beeke in person at a conference in 2019. I asked him, “How to know that I am called?”. With his rich experience as a pastor and a seminary principal/president who would have seen many with this question, he said to me that if I can say with the Apostle Paul, “woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!” (1 Cor. 9:16). At that time, the woe was not strong. In the present (late 2021–early 2022), it became unmistakeable and unmovable. (To be explained later)
Public Recognition
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: But in the multitude of counsellers there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14).
to be continued.